Dear Friends,

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One of the things I miss least not being a Parish Priest is funerals.  I don't mean the privilege of celebrating the requiem of a faithful parishioner, rather the funerals of the lapsed or even regular worshippers whose next of kin had no idea what the deceased would have wanted.  By the time I met with the loved ones they had often selected poems and secular music and composed a eulogy that would have had us believe that the deceased was of greater holiness that the Angel Gabriel whilst at the same time having gained salvation by culinary skills and always being nice to the family.   Death was “nothing at all”; the deceased had simultaneously become a “star in the sky”, whilst “living forever in our hearts”.  Musical choices ranged from “Delaney's Donkey” (at least whimsical) to “My Way” (if it really is “My Way” not “Thy Way” it is something for repentance not celebration.)  Orders of Service were produced titled “A Celebration of the Life of N”, with no understanding that life continues beyond death.

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I hope that I managed to bite my tongue and to engage with those families as they mourned the death of a loved one; they were genuine in their desire to do the best they could by ensuring a decent and personalised funeral.   There was a tightrope to be walked, not alienating the bereaved but at the same time introducing into their plans the good news of our Salvation; of God's love and mercy; and of prayer for the souls of the departed.  

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Whilst the Church continually prays for the living and the dead, November is designated as a month particularly identified with such prayer.  It is important that we offer our prayers and masses this month for the dead because there is a real danger that we might so easily fall into the trap of honouring them with nice words; happy stories; thanksgiving for their lives (all of which have their place) that we forget to pray for them.  

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This November let us rejoice in Our Lord's victory over death and the promise of eternal life bestowed in baptism.  Let us pray for our departed loved ones, for those who nurtured us in the faith, and for all the departed – especially for those who leave nobody behind who will pray for them.  We do so confident that God hears our prayers and thankful that Christian death leads to sharing in the resurrection: they live, not simply in our memories, but with the Lord.

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In Christ

+ David

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